What's it all about?
Great start to a blog... not! The thing is, when I look around, I don’t see anybody with it ‘all together’. But then again why should there be? I see people battling with anger, bitching gossip, bad attitudes, low self-esteem, jealousy, greed, illness, fatigue, stress, and loads of other crap. Stuff that is evident to us day in day out.
I was thinking about this depression I’m going through and I figured it isn’t really that bad. I mean it could be worse! I hate the way people keep on trying to ’fix’ me with these worldly answers. I should be this way, coping with things like this, glorifying God like that. I realise that this depression is a complete bitch for everyone around me not only myself and I am quite obviously in need of help so I‘m not blaming people for pointing out the obvious and looking for solutions. I hate to think of myself as being as annoying as I know I am, but then again I can’t just put a stop to it and at the end of the day I need to learn to not be such a people-pleaser and to be more of a God-pleaser. Sometimes I just need time alone with God and I rarely take advantage of it.
I mean people break their leg and you don’t tell them that if they walk a certain way it won’t hurt. People are disabled and you don’t tell them to get their act together. People are vomitting and you don’t tell them to hold it in. People get old and frail and nobody says to them that they need to change their attitude, it’s all a part of the consequence to sin, an ongoing consequence to the Fall of mankind.
I do believe God wants to see everyone healed, but I also believe that he wants to see everyone saved to him and when we look around we have to admit that that doesn't seem to be happening. Although there is an awesomely beautiful and potentially perfect world around us, it’s been broken by us and things don’t run how God intended it. I think although God is concerned with seeing us happy and fulfilled, his number one concern is actually love. He won’t just spoil us if we’re gonna take this life for granted and live in a selfish way. We all have such a long journey ahead of us in becoming more godly in our attitudes and as it says in Romans 5, ‘not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope…’ - oh crap! It’s much more important to God to teach us godly attitudes than to let us have a hunky dorey life. Not saying my God isn't compassionate, coz he is, massively, but I reckon his compassion actually shows more in teaching and correcting us than pandering us.
I was thinking as well about how even if you don’t know you’re sinning it still has consequences. Say nobody told you smoking was bad for you… you smoke 50 a day and then you get lung cancer - makes no difference that you didn’t know, the consequences are still there. A bit like, even if you don’t accept the truth about God it doesn’t change the truth. We don’t each have a truth of our own, the purpose of life isn’t just what you fancy it being from one day to the next. It’s a one size fits all, one answer, one truth kinda world. We all only have one truth to live to whether we know it/ like it/ accept it or not and we adapt to fit with it rather than trying to change everyone else to suit our ideas and goals.
I dunno why this is all so aparent to me today, and quite why I feel the need to tell everyone about my random thoughts, but when I think of Job in the Bible and how God allowed all this destruction in his life for no real reason other than to make HIS point and to make HIS voice be heard. He had a reason, a sovereign reason, but Job couldn’t see it until God chose to reveal it to him, and why should he, God calls the shots at the end of the day and if God wants to speak through me with depression as he spoke through Job with sickness then who am I to argue. Not that that’s what God’s necessarily doing and I wouldn’t claim it I’m just making a point. God let all sorts of things happen so that his voice would be heard. He condoned battles, allowed illness, let people writhe in their own sin, dried up rivers, stopped the harvest… but at the end of it all, God sent Jesus. Bad things happen and they always will until Jesus returns… in fact if we go by what the Bible says then it’s only gonna get worse:
‘Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth-pains… because those will be days of distress unequalled from the beginning, when God created the world, until now - and never to be equalled again.’ (Mark 13:8-23)
I think this depression is something that’s been allowed by God because I’ve got things in my life that I hate and God hates, and it ain’t easy or comfortable sifting them out, but I can be sure that he doesn‘t hate me, just the sinful things and attitudes associated with me. I think that depression is one of those inevitable consequences. I might well be a new creation, but that doesn’t take away the consequences, it just means I don’t have to live with them forever and that my home is in heaven and not on this sin-filled earth. We are being painfully birthed out of our temporary dark womb (earth), into our permanent brightly lit home in heaven with the Father and our Lord.
It also means that I have the Spirit of God dwelling inside me and that he is all the power I need. This depression is like a huge bundle of temptation all come at once. It reminds me of the verse, ‘take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ’ and makes me think of swarms of pesky mosquitoes all flying at me and me armed with just a single swatter. That’s what it feels like, it's not the reality though of me as a new creation, in my own strength maybe, but not with God fighting for me. God has me covered in insect repellent and clothes that protect me from being bitten. It’s my choice whether I’m gonna run around screaming and panicking even though I’m fully protected or whether I choose to get on with life wearing my constant protection. It’s the armour of God isn’t it! I need to put on my protection daily coz there’s a swarm around at the moment, well constantly actually.
I can’t keep on like this, but I also know there isn’t an easy answer which happens to be what I’m looking for. I’ll keep you posted, that’s all for now…
Thursday, 19 April 2007
Friday, 6 April 2007
Soaring on wings like eagles...
'Coz He'll move heaven and earth to come and rescue you when you call... When you call on Jesus all things are possible, you can mount on wings like eagles and soar...'
(Song: Nicole C Mullen)
'Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall,
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They can soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.'
(Isaiah 40)
How awesome!
Spiritual Armour?
I read Ephesians 6 this morning for my 'Freedom in Christ' daily reading... What does the spiritual armour of God mean to me then? How do I make use of it? It IS available to me I know that, but I know as well that often it seems too heavy to carry. It's easier just to drop it all and do a runner!
'Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled round your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.' (Ephesians 6:14-18)
Belt of Truth - the truth to me is that Jesus Christ loves me so much to die for me, God so loved me that he gave his One and only Son, I am holy and blameless in his sight, a saint, I'm forgiven, there's no condemnation, I've been justified, redeemed, blessed hugely and I'm being sanctified each and every day.
Breastplate of Righteousness - Jesus' righteousness is my righteousness and no Satan scheme or worldly idea or fleshy desire or sin can change that. All power is in the cross with what Christ did for me. All righteousness comes from God. 'You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.' (Romans) Satan does not have ownership over me, my loving God does! He leads me on the right path, I belong to him and he paid an extreme price to set me free.
Gospel of Peace 'boots' - Jesus came to reconcile me back to God. Jesus brought me near through his blood, shed for me. Jesus himself is our peace. He came and preached peace to those who were far away and peace to those who were near. (Ephesians) The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control! (Galatians) This peace brings 'readiness'.
Shield of Faith - Faith is to believe in what can't neccesarily be seen or fully understood. 'If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.' (Matt.21) Our defense at the end of the day is our faith, and Jesus says that we need only faith the size of a mustard seed to move a mountain... I mean, God's gonna ask us what we did with our lives and I'm guessing he doesn't wanna hear about all the stuff we managed to pile up in our houses, our possesions and all the 'important' things we did, the meetings, pop concerts, and all the qualifications we got... Faith is what makes our relationship with God possible and it's what keeps us going, not 'stuff'. God wants us to know him and believe in him so he can work in our lives.
Helmet of Salvation - Helmets protect your head, your mind. Here we have deliverence from sin, we've been saved, delivered, redeemed by Jesus and he doesn't go back on his Word or let go of his precious children very easily I figured. That salvation protects my mind from enemy attacks whether I'm aware of it and taking advantage of it or not. It's the solid proof of what God is like as much as it can be 'proven'.
Sword of the Spirit - I want a real sword you know! Think of the power behind it... but we're talking about the Holy Spirit here - nothing beats his power, we already hold the victory. The Spirit fights for us when we're weak, the Spirit speaks through us when we don't know what to say or pray for. The Spirit is ALWAYS with us and delights in being with us. The Spirit is awesome.
All of these things aren't 'natural' they don't come easy, it takes effort and self-control and a longing to live for God, it takes a fighter.
'Standing firm' I guess hints at the fact that it ain't exactly easy in that there's some standing firm to be done! I've seen that recently in other people's lives and in my own actually. Life ain't easy, and being a Christian actually isn't any easier than not being, but it doesn't half make life more worth while and liberating and purposeful and satisfying. To know that God is with us makes troubled times have a purpose. We know that God does discipline his children and that we aren't ever gonna like that, but we also know that he works everything for good and that he loves us with an everlasting love.
I don't understand what's going on with me in my emotions at the moment, but then I don't understand a whole heap of things and it's not my job to at the end of the day, and God says that's okay! We don't need to understand and know everything to call God our Father and for him to accept us as his dearly loved children. We don't need to be perfect, we just need to know that his perfection is enough for each and every one of us if we believe it.
We're in a battle -a BIG one!
'Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled round your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.' (Ephesians 6:14-18)
Belt of Truth - the truth to me is that Jesus Christ loves me so much to die for me, God so loved me that he gave his One and only Son, I am holy and blameless in his sight, a saint, I'm forgiven, there's no condemnation, I've been justified, redeemed, blessed hugely and I'm being sanctified each and every day.
Breastplate of Righteousness - Jesus' righteousness is my righteousness and no Satan scheme or worldly idea or fleshy desire or sin can change that. All power is in the cross with what Christ did for me. All righteousness comes from God. 'You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.' (Romans) Satan does not have ownership over me, my loving God does! He leads me on the right path, I belong to him and he paid an extreme price to set me free.
Gospel of Peace 'boots' - Jesus came to reconcile me back to God. Jesus brought me near through his blood, shed for me. Jesus himself is our peace. He came and preached peace to those who were far away and peace to those who were near. (Ephesians) The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control! (Galatians) This peace brings 'readiness'.
Shield of Faith - Faith is to believe in what can't neccesarily be seen or fully understood. 'If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.' (Matt.21) Our defense at the end of the day is our faith, and Jesus says that we need only faith the size of a mustard seed to move a mountain... I mean, God's gonna ask us what we did with our lives and I'm guessing he doesn't wanna hear about all the stuff we managed to pile up in our houses, our possesions and all the 'important' things we did, the meetings, pop concerts, and all the qualifications we got... Faith is what makes our relationship with God possible and it's what keeps us going, not 'stuff'. God wants us to know him and believe in him so he can work in our lives.
Helmet of Salvation - Helmets protect your head, your mind. Here we have deliverence from sin, we've been saved, delivered, redeemed by Jesus and he doesn't go back on his Word or let go of his precious children very easily I figured. That salvation protects my mind from enemy attacks whether I'm aware of it and taking advantage of it or not. It's the solid proof of what God is like as much as it can be 'proven'.
Sword of the Spirit - I want a real sword you know! Think of the power behind it... but we're talking about the Holy Spirit here - nothing beats his power, we already hold the victory. The Spirit fights for us when we're weak, the Spirit speaks through us when we don't know what to say or pray for. The Spirit is ALWAYS with us and delights in being with us. The Spirit is awesome.
All of these things aren't 'natural' they don't come easy, it takes effort and self-control and a longing to live for God, it takes a fighter.
'Standing firm' I guess hints at the fact that it ain't exactly easy in that there's some standing firm to be done! I've seen that recently in other people's lives and in my own actually. Life ain't easy, and being a Christian actually isn't any easier than not being, but it doesn't half make life more worth while and liberating and purposeful and satisfying. To know that God is with us makes troubled times have a purpose. We know that God does discipline his children and that we aren't ever gonna like that, but we also know that he works everything for good and that he loves us with an everlasting love.
I don't understand what's going on with me in my emotions at the moment, but then I don't understand a whole heap of things and it's not my job to at the end of the day, and God says that's okay! We don't need to understand and know everything to call God our Father and for him to accept us as his dearly loved children. We don't need to be perfect, we just need to know that his perfection is enough for each and every one of us if we believe it.
We're in a battle -a BIG one!
Tuesday, 3 April 2007
I just love this...
PSALM 91
He who dwells in the shelter of the
Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my
refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your
shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
If you make the Most High your dwelling -
even the Lord, who is my refuge -
then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels
concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion
and the serpent.
“Because he loves me,” says the
Lord, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call upon me and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honour him,
and I will answer him.
With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”
When I see that robin it makes me think of how God provides for the things he's made. To each and every one of us he offers his strength and provision, to each he gives breath and life and a purpose.
God offers us shelter under the shadow of HIS wing - how awesome is that, just how big is the wing of God Almighty? I just think of the power in the wing on that little robin, the skill and speed that it produces... the beauty of a bird in flight and our secret longing to be able to do the same.
I just love God's Creation and it makes it even more wonderful to know that he is still alive and living with us and being the Father of his promises and being with us in all of our troubles, however big, however small. Our God is an awesome God, he reigns from heaven above, with wisdom, power and love, our God is an awesome God!
Sunday, 1 April 2007
Philippians is flippin brilliant!!!
Take a gander at these beauts - what inspiring verses, it makes me think about just how much I have to learn and explore in my lifetime and how much of it will go unlearned because this is SO hugely awesome... what a journey I'm on, and I'm on it with 'the God of peace' who will 'lead me into all truth' and who will always and forever be my 'strength and shield':
'...he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus, (1.6) (We're on our way - how encouraging is that... every day we get closer to our goal, to our Lord and Father God, to heaven itself! God is using us!)
'And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight...' (1.9) (What exactly is that knowledge and depth of insight?? I don't reckon it has anything to do with being intellectual or smart, i think it's knowing more of humility, bearing more of the fruit of the Spirit, to have more of an eternal perspective on things...)
'For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.' (1.21) (We don't need to be scared of ANYTHING! We don't need to worry about our mistakes and our dreams, we need to submit them to God and let him use us and turn everything around for his glory. God has given us an awesome purpose to be loved by him and to love him! We don't need to fear death because we have a faithful God and when this life is over we get to see him as he is... 'OH YEAH!')
'Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the intersets of others' (2.4) (Selfishness sucks ass! I know that it gets me nowhere and doesn't bring half as much joy as serving others and loving others does!)
'Do EVERYTHING without complaining or arguing..' (2.14) ( You what!!?? - Well I guess we have been given everything for free. We don't deserve a breath!)
'For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ' (2.21) ("me me me" that seems to be the first thing my mind tells me! I don't want that, I want to think of my Lord and live for him. I choose to pick up my cross daily and follow him!)...HELP!
'What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things' (3.8) (Jesus is everything! Purpose, Provider, Redeemer, Counsellor, Comforter, Shield, Protection, Salvation, Love, Joy, Peace, Bread of Life, Water to my soul, and SO much more... and that beats all earthly things outright!)
'I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me' (3.12) (It ain't just gonna jump into your arms, you can't run a marathon without training, we need to work for that prize, and that prize is worth it big time! Pray for the Spirit, cozyou're gonna need it EVERY day!)
'Only let us live up to what we have already attained' (3.16) (We are holy, blameless, dearly loved children of God with the inheritance of Christ in our hands! When are we gonna start living out our unbeatable richness of life? We have EVERYTHING! We are so so rich in Christ!)
'But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Saviour from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body' (3.20-21) (Yeah, we get new bodies - pretty cool if you ask me... no more spots or shaving or sickness come to think of it! We get to go HOME to heaven! Awesome or what!!!)
'Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.' (4.5) (The Lord is near!!!)
'Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.' (4.6) (God is Sovereign, Almighty, awesome, wonderful, faithful and he knows way more than we do how we got into our troubles and how to get us out of them. When we lift our hands he will lift us up!)
'And the peace of God that transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.' (4.7) (I guess it transcends all understanding coz it's not humanly possible. We can't conjour up this peace, it only comes from God. We worry because we can't see what's coming, but God does and he offers to take our burdens and give us this indescribable, unexplainable peace that you can't find down the town or at the bottom of the glass! That's a promise! God's got it sorted!)
'Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me or seen in me - PUT IT INTO PRACTICE. And the God of peace will be with you' (4.8-9) (This is where we put it into practice... this is where we need to look! We need to adopt a cross centred life of thanksgiving, and not get distracted by worldly negativities. It starts in our mind; our action come from out thoughts, and God has already promised to guard our hearts and our minds. Don't keep letting those nagging thoughts get you down, take them to the cross and lay them at Jesus' feet (that's what he's there for)! Talk to God about your troubles before moaning to others)
'...I have learnt to be content whatever the circumstances.' (4.11) (Amazing!)
'I can do EVERYTHING through him who gives me strength.' (4.13) (Everything! Can't really beat that!)
'And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus' (4.19) (Again, what a promise, what else could we ask for? We are SO rich in God! Money, gold, holidays, new cars... doesn't even come close!)
THE END
'...he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus, (1.6) (We're on our way - how encouraging is that... every day we get closer to our goal, to our Lord and Father God, to heaven itself! God is using us!)
'And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight...' (1.9) (What exactly is that knowledge and depth of insight?? I don't reckon it has anything to do with being intellectual or smart, i think it's knowing more of humility, bearing more of the fruit of the Spirit, to have more of an eternal perspective on things...)
'For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.' (1.21) (We don't need to be scared of ANYTHING! We don't need to worry about our mistakes and our dreams, we need to submit them to God and let him use us and turn everything around for his glory. God has given us an awesome purpose to be loved by him and to love him! We don't need to fear death because we have a faithful God and when this life is over we get to see him as he is... 'OH YEAH!')
'Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the intersets of others' (2.4) (Selfishness sucks ass! I know that it gets me nowhere and doesn't bring half as much joy as serving others and loving others does!)
'Do EVERYTHING without complaining or arguing..' (2.14) ( You what!!?? - Well I guess we have been given everything for free. We don't deserve a breath!)
'For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ' (2.21) ("me me me" that seems to be the first thing my mind tells me! I don't want that, I want to think of my Lord and live for him. I choose to pick up my cross daily and follow him!)...HELP!
'What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things' (3.8) (Jesus is everything! Purpose, Provider, Redeemer, Counsellor, Comforter, Shield, Protection, Salvation, Love, Joy, Peace, Bread of Life, Water to my soul, and SO much more... and that beats all earthly things outright!)
'I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me' (3.12) (It ain't just gonna jump into your arms, you can't run a marathon without training, we need to work for that prize, and that prize is worth it big time! Pray for the Spirit, cozyou're gonna need it EVERY day!)
'Only let us live up to what we have already attained' (3.16) (We are holy, blameless, dearly loved children of God with the inheritance of Christ in our hands! When are we gonna start living out our unbeatable richness of life? We have EVERYTHING! We are so so rich in Christ!)
'But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Saviour from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body' (3.20-21) (Yeah, we get new bodies - pretty cool if you ask me... no more spots or shaving or sickness come to think of it! We get to go HOME to heaven! Awesome or what!!!)
'Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.' (4.5) (The Lord is near!!!)
'Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.' (4.6) (God is Sovereign, Almighty, awesome, wonderful, faithful and he knows way more than we do how we got into our troubles and how to get us out of them. When we lift our hands he will lift us up!)
'And the peace of God that transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.' (4.7) (I guess it transcends all understanding coz it's not humanly possible. We can't conjour up this peace, it only comes from God. We worry because we can't see what's coming, but God does and he offers to take our burdens and give us this indescribable, unexplainable peace that you can't find down the town or at the bottom of the glass! That's a promise! God's got it sorted!)
'Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me or seen in me - PUT IT INTO PRACTICE. And the God of peace will be with you' (4.8-9) (This is where we put it into practice... this is where we need to look! We need to adopt a cross centred life of thanksgiving, and not get distracted by worldly negativities. It starts in our mind; our action come from out thoughts, and God has already promised to guard our hearts and our minds. Don't keep letting those nagging thoughts get you down, take them to the cross and lay them at Jesus' feet (that's what he's there for)! Talk to God about your troubles before moaning to others)
'...I have learnt to be content whatever the circumstances.' (4.11) (Amazing!)
'I can do EVERYTHING through him who gives me strength.' (4.13) (Everything! Can't really beat that!)
'And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus' (4.19) (Again, what a promise, what else could we ask for? We are SO rich in God! Money, gold, holidays, new cars... doesn't even come close!)
THE END
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